Managing Your Expectations with Sleep Training

There is this thought when it comes to sleep training, as soon as you do it, you’re letting your baby cry-it-out, but in turn, you get a baby who sleeps through the night. The thing is, it’s not that at all - it’s way more complex. While there are methods that promote crying for an undisclosed amount of time without going in to intervene, you’re not going to find that anywhere on my website. I am not an advocate for CIO and in fact, I find it way too vague and way too hard for both baby and mom.

I do think it’s important to set realistic expectations when it comes to sleep training, though.

• If the only goal is to make sure that your baby sleeps completely through the night, then I would recommend you don’t sleep train your baby until they’re 6+ months old.

• If the goal is to get a structured bedtime routine and have some healthy sleep habits, then you can start sleep training when your baby is just 12 weeks old.

• If the goal is to teach your baby how to sleep independently, but you’re still okay with night feeds, then you can start between 3-4 months old.

• If the goal is to get your toddler to sleep in their bed all night long without needing you to lay with them every time they wake up, we can start immediately.

• If the goal is to never hear any crying or form of protesting at all, then sleep training isn’t for you.

Crying is how our children communicate to us, and it’s also how they protest change. Sometimes babies just cry - even when all of their needs have been met. When we’re sleep training together, there will most likely be some protest on your baby’s part because they’re not privy to the details like you are! They don’t have the luxury of asking the sleep consultant questions and detailing out why we’re changing things up. The thing is, I never recommend leaving your baby for an undisclosed amount of time to just “figure it out.” In fact, half of the time I recommend that you stay in the room with your baby to be there as a support as they put themselves to sleep on their own.

If your goal is to teach your baby how to be a great sleeper (and stay a great sleeper!), then I’d love to help you get there. I’ve worked with little babies as young as 4 weeks old, to teenagers who are 14 years old and everything in between. It’s also helpful to manage your expectations for how long it takes for these changes to stay…generally I work with families for a 3 week period because that’s how long it takes to get great nap-time consistency. Nighttime changes often show up in the first week, but naps can take slightly longer. If you’re looking for a 1-night quick fix - this may not be for you!

As you can see, it’s imperative that you manage your expectations when it comes to sleep training and the age of your child. Sometimes our goals might not not align with our child’s age, so it’s helpful to wait until your goal is achievable.

If you need sleep help for your child and you’re not quite sure where to start, let’s schedule a discovery call together and chat about some options.