Navigating the 18-Month Sleep Regression

You’ve made it to the 18-month mark in your parenting journey with your child. Amazing. Your child is eating many new solids, probably relying less on you for formula or nursing, and likely their sleep has been great…up until now.

WHAT HAPPENED to my wonderful sleeper?

At the 18-Month mark, toddlers are learning a whole new meaning to ‘independence’ that they’ve never experienced before. This is the time in their lives when they actually realize that they are a whole separate being from you, mama. Before now, your sweet baby thinks that they are literally a PART of you. If you’re sad, so are they. If you’re happy, they’ll crack a smile too. But now - things are different. They realize that they are their own little human, just like you’re your own human. This can cause some big tantrums, big expressions of feelings, and some disruption to your regular routines (sleep… boo).

As I’ve discussed numerous times in previous posts and blogs, sleep can also get a little weird around big developmental times. When your child is learning to crawl, walk, talk, etc. Or even going to daycare or having a big home adjustment can throw things off.

What are some signs that your child is going through the 18-month sleep regression?
-You might find that during nap time, they lay awake and either protest their nap OR they’re chatting away, kicking their crib rails, playing around, and doing absolutely everything BUT sleeping. This might even be going on for an hour and they still haven’t fallen asleep.
-This could also be happening at bedtime if they did end up taking a nap. One thing we can do to help this is to push bedtime back by 15-20 minutes to make sure that they’re tired enough to sleep all night long.
-Another sign your child is going through the sleep regression is that they might start displaying signs of separation anxiety - especially at bedtime. Having tantrums and showcasing HUGE emotions that haven’t been the norm. Maybe they’re protesting their bath and they used to love it.

These signs show that something is going on in their little minds and they are trying to be in charge of themselves. But we know that this isn’t feasible with a 1.5 year old - sorry baby, you still need me.

What can we do to help our child through this sleep regression?

Be consistent in your response - If your child is throwing a tantrum and it’s confusing you because this doesn’t normally happen, then I want you to take a step back, let them feel their feelings, and then once they’ve regrouped and you’re level-headed, resume your usual bedtime response. If sometimes you’re bringing them to bed with you, and other times you’re making them stay in their crib, or other times you’re climbing INTO the crib with them (this happens more than you think), then stop. Be consistent with your child and then they will be consistent with you. The more we confuse them by doing new and different things, the harder it’s going to be for them to make it through this regression.

Keep your bedtime routine - Keeping your routine consistent it the best thing you can do for your child. Showing them that you are still in charge of the routine actually gives them a sense of security and normality. Even if it seems like your toddler suddenly hates the bath, offer a shower. If they hate that too, try spicing it up.
Some good bath-time ideas are:
-Doing a glow-stick bath (lights off and crack some glow-sticks for them to play in the tub)
-Get some paints or crayons that are safe to use in the tub
-Let them bring their favourite car or plastic doll in the tub with them to show them that bathing is fun.
Toddlers and babies THRIVE on routine. They may be experiencing some FOMO (fear of missing out) during these weird times, make sure you’re still following their schedule and doing their routine. It will help so so much.

Resorting to old sleep props - Don’t resort to past sleep props to get your child to sleep through the night, now. By laying with them until they fall asleep, or having to stay with them until they’re sleeping and having to tiptoe your way out of there, you are not doing them any favours. In fact, you have now become a sleep prop. I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but I urge you to avoid giving back the pacifier, feeding throughout the night, or even rocking them to sleep again. If these things get incorporated again, you will have to start from scratch with your sleep training. Not a huge deal, but think of all of the progress you’ve already made!

Don’t switch to a toddler bed! I repeat, do NOT switch them to a toddler bed. It might seem like your child is protesting their crib and that is the reason they aren’t sleeping well, but I can assure you, that is wrong. They are wayyyy too young to understand consequences of leaving their bed and their room. The minimum age I like to see a child in a toddler bed is 3. That is when they can really understand why leaving their bed isn’t acceptable and they know to call for you if they need help.

Give your toddler a little grace - I know, this seems obvious, but hear me out. It is SO hard to have your happy baby morph into a tantruming toddler. It’s actually the worst. It is so easy to flip and lose your cool too, because it’s a confusing time and things have gotten so weird! But, the worst thing we can do is to send our toddler to bed sad. Sad because we were yelling at them, or they were so frustrating at bedtime so you didn’t read their books or tuck them in. I promise you won’t regret doing those little things, even if you’re feeling so done. It’s important for our child’s development to know that even during their hard times, their parents can be a solid support and place they can turn to for love. I can’t tell you how many times my son has screamed at me out of frustration, and then started crying and gave me a hug to say sorry. They are learning how to conduct themselves and navigate their feelings.

If it’s feeling like it’s all-too-much, then reach out for some guided support. I work with many many toddlers and see fantastic success in getting them to sleep better for naps and through the night. Even if you’ve never done any formal sleep training with them, it isn’t too late!

Xo,

Bailey