Managing Bedtime with Multiples
Managing bedtime with 1 child is a huge feat. But managing bedtime with more than 1 kid should be an olympic sport. There are days where I sink into the couch after putting my 3 kids to bed and I just need that time alone to regroup. My husband is a shift worker and on his “days on,” I am fully in charge of the kids. He works 12-hour shifts, and with travel time he’s out of the home for 14 hours a day. When I got pregnant with my 3rd baby, I was really questioning how I’d be able to solo parent for those days where he was working. But - just like mothers have done it before and just like mothers do it now, I managed to find a rhythm.
One of the best things you can do with your kiddos is to combine their bedtime routines together - even if their bedtimes don’t align perfectly. Children who are 3+, can generally handle a slightly later bedtime than a newborn or a young baby could. Your toddler may be used to a 7:30pm bedtime, but your baby is ready for bed by 7pm. In this case, we’re doing everyone’s bedtime routine at 6:30pm.
I always recommend setting yourself up for success so that it’s not a scramble as the minutes tick by. I always grab pjs, nighttime diapers, and sleep sacks, and lay them out for myself on the floor of the room we’re going into after the bath. I also have the Hatch Noise Machine for all 3 of my kids, and this noise machine can run on a schedule. So I actually have it turn on at 6:30pm to indicate the start of our bedtime routine. This is an auditory cue for my kiddos to recognize that bedtime is happening since they’re still too little to read time. I find visual and auditory cues super helpful for kids - especially your independent toddlers.
As you run the bath and get it ready for your children, prepare their toothbrushes by putting toothpaste on them and getting them wet. This makes for a quick grab-and-go situation as you’re holding a towel-dry child and going into their room to get dressed for bed.
When I was in the thick of the newborn stage with my 3rd, I would still bathe her at the same time as my older 2, but as I was getting my kids out of the bath, I would pull her out first, wrap her snug in a towel on the floor, then get my older 2 out. Now that my oldest is 6, he showers separately, but will join in for the remainder of the bedtime routine.
As you move along, you’ll get to a point where your kids are dressed for bed and you’re almost out of time. Lots of parents just move along and put their kids into their beds and leave, but I highly recommend still continuing on with a story or a song. The purpose of this step in the routine isn’t to teach them anything, but instead, have one last connection-building activity with you right before they sleep all night. With toddlers, you’ll want to set some clear boundaries around how many books you’re going to read, and how many songs you’re committed to sing. Toddlers don’t often forget about your agreements, so it’s important for you to hold the boundary around story and song time.
If you’re doing bedtime with your baby and your toddler, I always recommend laying your baby down in their sleep space before your toddler. This just gives your toddler some special time with just you before they go to sleep, and this can be so important for their secure attachment with you. If your toddler is going to bed right away too, then I recommend going into their room after laying your baby down, and do one extra book with them. If they don’t want another book, then I always recommend chatting about your 3 favourite things about your day. You each take a turn in sharing your 3 favourite things before tucking your toddler in for the night.
However, it can sometimes feel confusing when you have lots of time left (30-60 mins) before your older child goes to bed, but the great thing is - they’re ready for bed already because you’ve done the majority of their routine. Here are some great connection-building activities I highly recommend doing in that time you have together:
Make a puzzle
Colour together
Play with Play Doh together
Play Hide n Seek
Turn some music on and have a dance party
Play a simple game (go fish, yahtzee, uno, etc)
Then, when it’s finally time to put your toddler to bed, you will have spent some great time together - a perfect toast to the day.
I cherish the alone I spend with my oldest. It reminds me of the time when it really was just me and him. I know that he values that time spent with me so much, too.
If you have specific questions about bedtime with multiples, post them below!
