Sleep Training Toddlers

It’s common to hear that sleep training is only for babies. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve talked with parents at the park about sleep training and they say that they wished they had done it before, but now it’s too late… I have good news, this simply isn’t true!

Some of the most common reasons why parents feel the need to sleep train their toddlers are these:

• They have a newborn on the way

• Bedtime is taking ages because your toddler wants you to lay with them until they fall asleep

• Bedtime stalling - making every single request trying to delay bedtime forevermore

• Repeated night wakings “looking” for mom/dad

• Co-sleeping in mom and dad’s bed and parents are finally done with sharing their sleep space

• Their toddler wasn’t always a bad sleeper…but they aren’t sure how to get back to “good” on their own

No matter how “far gone” you think your toddler’s sleep has gone, there is always room for improvement and change. But - before jumping into an abyss of unknown, make sure you have a plan of action! Toddlers don’t love quick change, and although some may take to their new schedule or regime and run with it, most toddler’s like slower transitions. Think about it - major transitions (especially around sleep!) are HARD. I think about myself having to switch sides of the bed with my husband or getting used to a new pillow - and those things suck.

Here are a few steps I recommend taking:

1. Include your toddler in the preparations for them to start sleeping alone
   No one likes having the rug pulled out from under them with no warning at all. I want you to talk with your toddler and let them know that things will be different on the night you plan to start.

2. Talk through your bedtime boundaries with your child so you’re on the same page
   You’re now going to have some bedtime boundaries and rules that you’re going to stick with. Figure out what some non-negotiables are, and then lay them out for your child.
   Some examples could be:
   - If you wake in the night, I want you to cuddle your teddy and try to fall back to sleep
   - At bedtime, stay in your bed quietly with your eyes closed
   - Don’t come out of your room in the morning until your toddler clock turns green

3. When talking about bedtime, bolster their confidence and reassure them that you know they can do this hard thing!
   Whether it’s because bedtime didn’t take 2 hours like usual, or your child only got out of their bed once instead of 6 times, bolster their confidence and let them know they’ve done an awesome job! Find something small that they did well each night. The purpose of this is to make your child feel proud of themselves - the more they feel confident and proud, the more likely they’ll continue on this trajectory.

4. When things get hard (which they will), hold your boundaries.
   It’s very common for children to begin resisting something that was going well. Asking for one more drink at bedtime, another bathroom break, one last hug, another few stories…etc. If you give in to these requests and demands, they will multiply. I want you to remember that when talking about a young child - a boring game is still a game.

5. Remember, YOU are the parent.
   Children often feel insecure in their role as the child if they are in charge. Even if they exhibit feelings of wanting that freedom, the freedom is actually too much for them. This can manifest in feelings of anxiety and insecurity. Remember that what YOU say, goes. You are in charge of bedtime and their bedtime routine. Find something that works for your family and try not to veer too far off of that.

At any age, sleep training can be difficult. If it’s seeming TOO hard and something you don’t want to tackle alone, please reach out to me - I’d love to work 1-on-1 with you to help solve this issue once and for all.